Interviewed by

Dr. Phoebius Sykes

 I am Dr. Phoebius Sykes, a psychiatrist commissioned by the California Criminal Investigation Bureau (CCIB). I practice at the Humboldt Institute For Mental Health (HIFMN). I study various chronic mental patients held in detention by the state.

In the spring of 1995, I was asked to analyze a suspect named Kenny the Gardener. Detectives had caught up with him in Paradise Valley performing "anti-government, anti-state, and anti-American propaganda practices". Apparently, he had attempted to brainwash a small hippie commune into revolting against all government. The Gardener and his followers were eventually sent to various correctional facilities and asylums for analysis.

Throughout his case, I interviewed Kenny quite extensively. He began to reveal the inner-workings of his mind to me. Eventually, a deal was made with the DA . Kenny and his followers were released on parole.

Recently, I received a CD with his Kenny’s name on it. After listening to this bizarre barrage of music and lyrics, I am discouraged at what might be a relapse in his behavior. Finding reviews and articles on the internet, I was able to contact this publication and conduct the interview below. I’d like to thank Ruben Blue and all the wonderful people at Rock City News for this rare opportunity.

Dr. Sykes: When and where did you meet the members of your band?

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr. Sykes: Is it true that your band Lunatics on Parole perform shows where you take the stage and incite the audience against government?

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr. Sykes: Exactly what is a Green Revolution?

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr Sykes: It seems like the title of your CD, Welcome to the U.S.S.A., suggests that America has become this place ruled by a socialist system, implying the state cares more for corporations than individual rights.

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr Sykes: Why do you feel police act like SS Stormtroopers?

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr Sykes: Stating that T.V. preachers have perverted Christianity into an institute that steals from the poor is a strong accusation.

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr Sykes: Why did you write a song about soldiers being uselessly killed in battle, or turning into homeless veterans forgotten by administration?

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr. Sykes: Do you really believe that if all the states passed pro-life legislation, women would really go back to illegal underground abortion clinics as they did in the past?

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr. Sykes: You say the media manipulates peoples lives, making it possible for actors and sports figures to earn millions, while teachers and farmers starve.

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr. Sykes: Attacking the media and the corporations that run them, will never get your band a record deal.

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr. Sykes: Who is The Madman?

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr. Sykes: I think there are a number songs on your CD that convince me you are anti-American. You attack institutions and banks, blaming them for the conformity of American people. You say they are making them into working-class robots.

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr. Sykes: And you...you...you were using quotes from George Orwell’s "1984"!!! Have you no idea what year this is?

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.

Dr. Sykes: I feel that you are once again inciting people to revolt against the very fabric of our society. I must tell you, I will absolutely recommend that your parole be revoked.

Kenny the Gardener: No comment.